Get thee to the suburbs...or the nunnery

So word on the street is that the back patio at Lucky 13 is closing at 11pm nowadays because the neighbors are having a shitfit about the noise. Mind you, Lucky 13 is located right off of Church and Market, a buzzing area sandwiched between the castro and mission. My favorite bar, the Gold Cane, is getting more and more adament about shutting down their famous, smoker-friendly back patio around 11pm on weekends because a lawyer neighbor is threatening legal action.

Where are we, Palo Alto?

Uptight people.....you've always been on my shit list. I have no problem with those of you who reside in your compulsively clean gated communities, going weeks without seeing a lick of graffiti, or a bum, or anything that may slightly inconvenience your robotic life. But what the fuck was going through your head when you decided on your apartment in a notoriously hectic San Francisco neighborhood?

There is a certain checklist that even the most irresponsible and oblivious of potential tenant would go through- they scan their neighborhood. Are you trying to say that you didn't do recon work and notice- hmmmm, I love those granite countertops but that bar next door may disrupt my beauty sleep.

If you're old enough to live on your own, you should be self aware enough to know what does and doesn't work for you and your precious need for quiet. I personally would LOVE to live next to a bar in an area like Duboce Triangle or Haight....but I have a very high threshold for noise. My close friends live immediately above (like floor vibrating above) a bar on Haight Street and they simply adapted because they knew what they were getting themselves into. It also doesn't hurt that they think the idea is kind of fun- the view from their window provides hours of entertainment.

Once upon a time people came to this city because of its reputation, not for 5am yoga and haute brunches. SF was and should still be a place that caters to the alkies, the insomniacs, the social butterflies, the adventurers. That San Francisco has the catalyst for such perfect bouts of euphoria experienced by yours truly, don't ruin this for us.

Another incident in which I treat my 160K education as a joke

So the class I need to complete my Women's Studies minor (technically it is called Gender and Sexualities Studies, but apparently there is only one gender) is the exact same time as my Led Zeppelin class....and I had to make a choice.

Gender and the Media class

Patriarchy is a bitch of a word to spell

Very good chance of a professor who hails my insight and fresh opinion and puts off all major assignments until the end of the semester, only to give me a c minus for being off topic

I'd have to register my minor in admissions or wherever. Those departments scare me.

VERY good chance of me getting into a huge, annoying argument with the gals in class because I'm pro porn and think Catharine MacKinnon really does just need to get laid.




Led Zeppelin

I wouldn't have to buy any books....or CDs

Will be able to adventure into the park for some pre-class herbal jazz and not feel one bit out of place in class

Semester topics include: sex, drugs, rock and roll- divided into two sub units rockin and rollin'

Will try my best to write a paper about how 'That's The Way' is the gayest song of all time

Shake for me girl, I wanna be your backdoor man!




Who really gives a fuck about minors anyways? Besides Republican congressmen. Woah. Dated zing.